Last Happy Hour in NY EVER and goodbye to all my fwiends

Well that’s a lie.  I still don’t have a job lined up, although the efforts have been fierceeeee honey, I got a wide open agenda for the summer so far and I will probs be back to visit next week.  I only live two hours away, remember?

Also, remember when gaga said “I don’t wannnnaaa bbbeeee fwweeinnndssss” in Bad Romance like 3/4 the way through? My bbm list of buddies was named I don’t wanna be fwiends for like 3 years because of that.

So ANYWAY this is the last happy hour that I will be going to whilst living here, and to be honest, even though everyone keeps saying “you willlll be backkkk sweetie,” that little smile I force out past my teeth says “NOT IF I CAN HELP IT!”

It’s been real and it’s been fun, NY, but it hasn’t been real fun and you can only tread water for so long and believe me I am fabulous at treading water, I played water polo for 3 years and have been competitively swimming since I was 9.

I loved my time here and I’m having literal PANIC attacks about leaving my friends. Like yesterday, I ran into Nordstrom Off the Rack to get something chic, and overheard a girl and one of her g’s talking about how gay the scarves were there.  I literally started crying and tried texting my sisters, but I didn’t have any service so then started crying more, then my phone died and I bought a pair of fake Tom’s.  Had I been there with one of my sisters, that would have NEVER happened.  It just wouldn’t have, so I’m going to miss them so much.  If you don’t know what sisters are, you need to move to Chelsea for a year, regain normalcy, then be birthed back into the world via Sharon Needles.  Hell’s kitchen will work too.

So anyway, I’m going to miss all my NY friends so much, and not just the g’s, but all of them.

To my favorite long islandites of 2009, you saved me from one of the hardest times in my entire life, and I love you so much for it.  Thank you for being so fashion forward, teaching me about Zara, baking for me, inviting me to brunches and just being so fun and gorgeous.  Love you all so much!

To my girl MB and her two best New York amigos (champ,hoovie hoov) + the one and only Amy D., you are probably the most fun/funniest people I have ever met and I am going to miss day drinking with you, WAH!  You have become like a family to me and I can’t wait for you to visit me in Doylestown!

To my ex cb easters, I will obvi see you at all the holidays but will really miss hanging out with you in Brooklyn.  Especially CC, thank you for forcing me to try yoga and different types of thai foods.  You are like my unofficial spiritual leader and can’t wait to swim at your dad’s pool this summer.

To mi gente, thank you for letting me in on your Latina ways and teaching me how to work smarter, not harder.  Also thank you for teaching me about returning stuff you don’t like to Sephora, and of course the importance of AVOCADOS and LIMES which I now eat like every day.

LL,  you are the prettiest sales rep I have ever met and think you should move to LA, marry a Doctor and get a pool shaped like crab legs.

To my UNH girls.  I never, ever didn’t have a good time with you or not look forward to every single thing you invited me too.  I might have to make a trek up for friends Thanksgiving this year and love you so much!

To my JC, you have been with me for 10 years now and Kak misses you.  You taught me the cleanest bathrooms are at Nordstrom Rack in Union Square and Bergdorf’s uptown, never leave your house without two pairs of sunglasses just incase someone forgets theirs, and the importance of chopt and tasti D frequent customer cards.  I love you and will see you in Dtown.

To my ex co-workers, I love you all as well and PLEASE for the love of God find a new job please because that place sucks and you deserve to make so much more money and be treated so much better.  You’re not even getting summer Fridays anymore so might as well just make yourself happy and quit!  I mean really, any company that gets rid of someone as smart, funny and cool as me who always made nothing TWICE is just about to self implode.

And to everyone else, sorry that I missed you, it’s not that I don’t love you I just GOTTA WRAP THIS UP because I have 4 hours until I have to leave for my happy hour and I still have to shower, blow out my hair, put on fake tan, get my nails done, whiten my teeth, do my makeup (just tried it out this morning and I think I’m going to go with this copper smokey eye look for de leo,) eat some sort of carb so I don’t Irish Goodbye for the 8th time this month and treat myself to a car service ride there!

Plus I need to watch the newest real housewives of NJ and Dance Moms, my life right now is pretty jam packed.

I think I’m going to go total Jersey tonight, seems only appropriate.  Love to everyone, and if you want to come out– Public House on 41st street.  I will be there by around 5:30.

xoxo,

wcw