Thanksgiving Eve, a how to

If any of you know me well enough, meaning you have read my blog for the past year, you know that Thanksgiving Eve is one of my favorite days of the year.

It’s the day that you get to creep on everyone you’ve been wanting to see since high school.  Hometown celebs is what I like to call them.  You know,  the really slammin’ quarterback that went bald at 23, the prettiest girl in your grade that now has two kids,   maybe even your really hot gym teacher from 10th grade.  It’s like real life facebook.

I remember the year my best friend was 21 a month before me and ended up just making the cusp to go out on Thanksgiving Eve without me by a week.  The entire night she was making me insanely jealous via text as she updated me about all the celebs she was spotting, girls that lost 50 lbs, nerds that put on 25 lbs of muscle and lost the glasses, and of course our high school crushes in the grade above while I sipped countless vodka oranges alone in my kitchen with Home Alone glaring from the 22 inch in the background.

These are the things that we fed off of– exchanging numbers with the rugby captain a year below you, seeing your 16-year-old crush for the first time since you used to lift at the same gym in high school, this is the stuff I lived for and I love it!

Or should I say loved it.

Last year when I went out on Thanksgiving Eve, I ended up running into a kid I used to babysit, yikes, with that being said I think I might have to hang up my extensions this year on my favorite holiday.  I mean, maybe I will go out for a round or two around 9, but two years ago, we went out around 11.  It’s the circle of life, and I just happen to be at the fading edges of my ridiculous mid twenties.

I mean, I didn’t even go tanning this year for it, and that says a lot.

I guess it just sort of looses his appeal when you have facebook so you’ve seen it already and have to wake up early to help cook.  Hangovers aren’t cured with bacon and gatorade anymore, and we have to visit our grandpa before we eat.

Eff, I had two old fashions last night and I’m feeling foggy right now.

With all this being said though, it still is a hell of a night  and was one of my favorite days of the year for 5 years so and I have decided to compile a how to get through it list below:

1.  Dress to impress

You gotta look cool as shit if you are going to go out on Thanksgiving Eve, but not so cool that people know you tried really hard.

Jeans and a nice top, thin sweater blazer or long cardigan, heeled boots works.

Leggings and a tunic works too.

If you are going to be dancing, think layers– remember if you didn’t go tanning or haven’t done pushups in a while, make sure you are wearing a shirt that can be worn by itself if you get too hot.

You have to, must wear a watch.  It just makes you look more successful.  Trust me.

Oh and your bag should be a cross body so you don’t have to put it down.

Off limits completely are dresses– just no, you tried way too hard.  Unless you have lost 75 lbs from high school and this is your moment, go for it.  Shine in a Herve Leger, girl.

Hair should be blown out, straight, curlers ok for loose waves but curling iron to the whole head, no.

Since most of the places you are going to will be dark, a lot of makeup is fine– but remember when wearing stage makeup to have your mom or whoever is taking you home to show up at least 15 mins before 2 AM, because when those lights pop on for last call and you look like a straight up melting illusion you will look scary.

In fact, bring bronzer, lip gloss or stick and concealer in your purse for touch ups, they do wonders to a tired face.

2.  How to avoid a lengthy convo with someone who makes you want to end it

You need to have a couple excuses in your pocket in case Gracie from home room wants to talk to you about all her cocker spaniels.  I’m not saying that you should avoid her completely, that’s just rude, and we aren’t rude, we are just cool and hanging out with her for too long is not only painful to you, but can seriously hurt your stock, so we must step away.

Excuses can be like this:

“Oh hi wcw!!!! You look awesome, how’s it going?”

“Hi Gracie, oh good, how are you?”

“Great, I got these brand new baby cutie cocker spaniels that are sooooOOooo cute omg wanna see pics??!”

“Oh, I would love to, but my friend is meeting me outside right now so I gotta go meet her, talk later!”

Exit.

Other excuses are, “awesome to see you, but I have to use the bathroom” Look at your cell, “Oh shoot, I gotta take this” and of course “You’re so effing boring, I can’t even stand to be around you for one more second, I literally would rather be writing a 10 page paper on dirt wearing something from the Kardashian line from Sears.”

3.  It’s not all about you so don’t try to sound cooler by talking too much because you actually sound lamer.

If someone asks you what you do or where you live, keep it short and sweet.

You work as a junior banker at Morgan Stanley in New York you simply say: I work in finance up in New York.

If you are an account executive for Grey Advertising on the Pantein Pro V account and technically don’t live in the city, you live in Hoboken, in short: I work in Advertising in New York.

They don’t need to know anything else.

If they keep probing, you can indulge or use an exit strategy or…

You can make up a complete horse shit answer just for fun.  I was a taxidermist student studying at a small taxidermy school outside of State College for about 75 % of my night life encounters from 2005-2007.

4.  If someone ignores you, ignore them back and please for God’s sake delete them from your facebook.  If you see them in real life and would rather eat nails that talk to them, you probably shouldn’t be friends with them in the virtual world.  Exceptions include girls that are engaged and you are simply using their facebooks as wedding research or people that might end up being famous so you can sell their pics to E! True Hollywood Story.

5.  Before you go out, eat something.  I mean, really– do not attempt to go out on Thanksgiving Eve without a little protein and carb that can just end in tears. Listen, your mom is probably getting a pizza anyway, so indulge in 2 slices or make a turkey and cheese sammy.  Also, pregame with a cocktail or two to get you feeling loose.

Just remember to have fun, kids, don’t drink and drive and Ok, perhaps you will see me at the Mesquito Grill from 8:30-11 in Doylestown tonight.

Viva la Thanksgiving Eve!

xoxo,

wcw

I can’t even say anything bad about this

This picture of Victoria and her baby is just so damn cute I can’t even say anything ridiculous about it.

 

Also I want her sunglasses, hair, coat, watch, nail color and maybe the onsie.  It’s cold out!

 

Also, Run Run Rudolph pandora radio station sort of rules.

 

xoxo,

 

wcw

All would be right in the world if…

This is my Christmas list Part 3.

These are the things that I hope for and truly believe would make the world a calmer, more stabilized environment for you and me.  Also, I am omitting the obvious that I pray for each and every day, the war to be over, that children will have food on the tables and Chaz Bono will continue to find himself.

Here goes.

1.  Justin Beiber is the father of that baby.

I don’t know why I am pulling for this crazy girl so hard, but if she really is telling the truth, and this baby really is Justin Beiber’s I would feel, even just for a second, that the world has been evened out for a sec.  These women are always perceived as looney tunes so if one case proved correct, besides Arnold Achwarzenegger house keeper’s baby, I would be relieved for the sake of woman kind.   Also, to prove something a little less angelic about Beiber would sort of make me happy? Is that sick? Hatemyself.

Oh dang, this bitch really does look like a lunatic.  Or any IUP freshman takin’ pics in their dorm before they head out.

2. The Kardashians come out to the public and say the following statement.

Dear Fans and the people of America and whatever other counties that know we exist,

We are assclowns, and for that we are sorry.  We have come into your lives and made you love us just to hate us.  We are perfect, but completely obnoxious and we apologize 100 times over.  Please take our forgiveness sincerely because we truly understand what assholes we are.  Also let us also confess that our Sears line is complete garbage and even our own dear Khloe cannot fit into it;  we have to make her special clothing for all our appearances and promos.  Also, Kris released Kim’s sex tape.

We are writing to you to tell you that we now see where you are coming from and we hate ourselves too.  As a family, we have decided to donate all our riches to charities and move to a small commune in Costa Rica where we cannot harm any of you anymore. We know what we have done to you is so horricfic and annoying, so the only thing we can do is leave Kalabassas and E!  and continue our life in solitutde. Thank you and God bless.

XO,

the Kardashians

3. Britney Spears gets her her body back from the “Slave 4 U” video and makes one last video that kills it and remains top 10 for months.  They bring back TRL just to show the video.  Then, a year later, she retires from the business and opens up a grits shop in Austin called BRIT’S GRITS! and raises her children with the man she met that fixed her car down the street.

4.  Rent in New York decrease by 40 % and I finally can afford that 1 bedroom in Carroll Gardens with a bath tub, terrace and eat in kitchen.

5.  Westcoastwest goes global

6. Frye, Sam Edelman, Calvin Klein, Jeffrey Campbell and even Anne Klein get a Goddamn grip on what people really want to spend on real leather tall boots and make the price points literally at least $100 cheaper.

Sorry I’m not sorry, this is Macy’s and no boot she be over $175.

 $219? kys

$458? At Lord and Taylor? Get out of here.

7. They open an actual sports bar in Williamsburg that has more than 2 tv’s and a bartender who isn’t sullen in skinny jeans with legs the size of toothpicks and a belly the size of Santa’s and they are nice to you and serve beers for $5 and there is nothing “foodie” about their menu.  Maybe I should open one after number 8.

8. I win the lottery

9.  The subway goes  down to $50 a month

10. Obama and the government decide to pay off everyone’s debts and he gives a press conference where he just simply states “Alright, we effed up, so let’s start with a clean slate,  also our 1 dollar bill now say IN WESTCOASTWEST WE TRUST instead of GOD. Go Eagles.”

8 more hours until that weekend is ours, come in a little late on Monday, step out to get breakfast real quick, anyone want anything? Do a little work 10:15- 11.  Read my blog from 11-12:30, catch up on the early stuff, it’s great, lunch time! stroll back to the desk around 1:45, oops, I need water from the cooler! Now it’s 2, look for x-mas presents you want for yourself, now it’s 3, call Laura in account , wanna go to starbucks? 3:30, let’s find some presents for mom and dad, 4:15, let’s go talk to Andrea and ask her what she’s getting her dad, 4:45, shit, expense sheets. 5:20, come onnnn and out at 5:30, repeat until Thursday.

xoxo,

wcw

Christmas List Duex re: unreality

Happy Beaujoloais Noueau day!  Maybe this year’s will be better than last’s.

If you don’t know what that is, read a book.

So my last list was stuff that is pretty obtainable.

This list unfortunately does not fit the bill.

Sighies, I want more than just you for xmas, sorry dolly.

 

So this list reflects what I want and will not get, but none the less, still want.

1. Prada Turnlock Chain Bag

I picture myself on a yacht with this bag. Great.

 

2. A feather trimmed brown wool or velour hat.

 

Picture me in this hat, a fur vest, jeans rolled up and tan ankle booties with wooden heels skipping down Madison laughing at how great life is with the leave twirling behind me, so tan, pale lip.

 

 

3. The Hamilton Jazzmaster Thinomatic Champagne Dial Automatic Mens Watch with the gold face, black leather band.

 

It’s no surprise I know and love watches.

This watch, my friends is a beaut, so American, so preppy, so clean.

4. One chic little hermes Bangle in black

 

5.  Diane von Furtenberg embellished top

 

I need this to wear with my new red blazer. Need.

 

6. Mongolian Cape Fur Coat

 

When I saw this coat I fainted, then woke up, saw the coat again, called a car service to escort me up to Saks and then went into a coma in the elevator on the way to the furs, had to be woken up by someone holding chanel no. 5 under my nose to which I woke up, crawled to the coat and then fell asleep in it.

7.  Tory Burch Logo Stud Earrings

Normally Tory Burch makes me want to jump out a window, but these earrings are so beautiful and just so chic. I would wear them every day. and they are only $68 !!

 

8. Red fox fur head band

How many animals died writing this post, yikes. sorry.

9.  A wooden or gold soled black bootie

10. A fuzzy faux mink blanket for my room.

 

11.  FINE! I want a gd iPad, ok?

 

One week until we stuff our faces.

How’s everyone’s Turkey Diet going?

xoxo,

wcw

You don’t have to be that skinny.

This is not a rant or rave out of jealousy. That is a completely different post. This is a rant and rave about celebrities feeling the need to be outrageously, unobtainably, disgustingly thin.

It’s just stupid.

Hear me about before you say, they are healthier than you because let’s be honest, I could spare to lose a few, but so could most.

I’m not saying they are unhealthy at all– this isn’t one of those rants either, all I am saying here is that to think you need to maintain that weight to be beautiful is sad and stupid and it’s projecting the impression that it’s normal to eat under 1,000 calories a day in order to look beautiful. That, my sister girls, is not living, that’s just plain dumb.

In life there are actions and consequences, it’s pretty simple.

You want to eat Mcdonalds for breakfast lunch and dinner? We didn’t need a $5 million movie to tell us that you’re gonna gain weight, be flabby and unhappy, Morgan. Uhhh no duh.

But life is full of treats, and to treat yourself with a cupcake one in a while, or to have a cheat meal on Saturday is one of my favorite parts of this life and I think most people would agree.

My friend met a guy the other day that has given up sugar and bread for life. Yes, all sugar and all flour. That means, he never is going to have another Christmas cookie, slice of pizza, BLT or even a glass of Coca Cola ever again. Sure your jaw line might be chiseled, and you might be able to climb a mountain faster than me, but what type of life are you living otherwise? How do you go out to dinner with friends and not be a giant pain in the ass? How do you go to your friends’ apartment for dinner and not be a giant pain in the ass? To me, that’s not living. Too me, I would rather have some junk in the trunk.

So when I see people like Leanne Rimes or Bethany Frankel, I’m like, come on people, do you honestly think being that frail and skeleton looking looks good? Because it doesn’t. You look 20 years older than your actual age, and just sickly.

Is that you? or Liza?

You don’t have to be that thin to be beautiful, there are plenty of people in Hollywood that are at an obtainable weight, and you know they sometimes, not all the time, but just sometimes they don’t say no to the dessert and they are still gorgeous and sexy.

All I am trying to get through to these people of Hollywood, is that to be desired, to be beautiful, you don’t have to be that thin. I know that it’s a hard business, and you have to maintain a certain weight to get jobs, I notice when celebs put on some weight, it’s distracting in TV shows or movies, but you don’t have to be that skinny.

And all the rest of us out there, you shouldn’t look at these made for camera faces and bods and think that’s where you have to be either. You just have to be confident– eat what makes you feel good, whether its that oatmeal for breakfast so you can have a couple bites of a banana split for dinner, or that Cheeseburger for lunch that you know you have to do a couple extra sit ups and minutes on the treadmill the next day to work off, just love yourself and work it out and be happy.

Xoxo,

wcw

how to get yourself out of a rut

You’re in a rut.

Look at your coffee cup, two splashes of skim milk and 3/4 a pack of splenda, dash of cinnamon like you did yesterday, huh?

You’re in a rut.

You’ve had the same job for the past four years.  No raises, no bonuses.

You’re in a rut.

So, you know what you have to do? Get yourself out of the rut.

Reinvent yourself.

Lease is up? Make the change.  And I’m not saying make the change to move to Denver, although I heard there are some really hot, single bros out there, but make the change.

Don’t be afraid to move to Brooklyn, don’t be afraid to look into apartments on the Upper East Side.  Don’t look at the N train to Queens as the path to failure, because the only thing that is failing is your intuition.

You’ll be happier with lower rent, you will be happier to live in a studio with views of trees instead of a homeless man whacking it on your front stoop on Allen.  You will be happy to have a toilet that flushes and a closet.

They still have cupcakes in the other boroughs, don’t worry, and your work address will still be New York, New York, O.K.?

You’re in a rut.

So cut your hair.  Dye it  blonde, brown, black.  WAIT. Don’t dye it black, dyed black hair never looks right.

You’re in a rut, so stand up, stretch, call your gym and cancel your damn membership.  It’s time to maybe go running outside or even do some pilates videos in your own apartment, aren’t those ellipticals just driving you up the gd wall anyway?

Get yourself out of the rut.

Find what really matters in your life, what it is that makes you happy, then figure out the person who can help you get there and call him or her directly.

Life is about risks, life is about making yourself happy, and the only person who can make decisions, including how to make yourself happy is yourself, so let’s get out of this rut.

Let’s change it up.

First things first, let’s get a manicure and new pair of over the knee black boots.  Or if you are a guy, a little shape up and some new bitchin’ jeans.  Look yourself in the mirror and say, you’re hot.  Wink.  Leave Lord & Taylor, you are scaring the children.

Next

Let’s really think about our goals, what we want out of life and write them on a piece of paper.

Then, instead of just being on the train alone with your own thoughts of dread and the bad breath of the hipster next to you, let’s use that time wisely.  Think about what you want out of life, and how we are going to get it.  Shit, hunny, let’s meditate!

Let’s start telling people how we truly feel, let’s go to networking events,  let’s freelance, let’s eat what we want and what makes us feel good, so let’s try to remember how Chinese food makes us feel afterward  before indulging in that lo mein.

Stop drinking every night, let’s try slowing down the binging on weekends.

We keep doing it to ourselves every Fri-Sunday, for what?

So you can have the Sunday nightmares and anxiousness all the way through Wednesday regretting how much you spent, ate and what you did?

Let’s find something we love doing outside of getting massively blacked out and throwing up until Monday morning.  We don’t love it when I say it like that do we?

I’m not saying quit drinking completely, but, let’s make an effort to drink more responsibly. I know, this part just sounds insanity to most at the moment, sorry.

The point is,  we are in a recession people, and it’s not going anywhere any time soon, so the only way to get ourselves back to reality, back to sanity,  back to happiness is to make a change.

We’re not in college anymore, and no one is paying our bills, and that’s not going to change either.

So stop letting people bother you so much.  Reach out to that person you met on Friday night in publishing, walk to work, buy some damn candles and switch up your nightly routine.  Maybe take a walk after you eat dinner or bake some cookies for your office mates.  Make the effort to put mascara on before we get on the train.  Wake up 30 minutes earlier to read the newspaper or make breakfast before work or write.

Smile more, read more, eat foods you love, take a cooking class, move to Queens,  find your passion, remember that you are worth it.

We can do it.

We can get out of this rut, we just gotta try.

xoxo,

wcw

We just got the tree

This is really hilarious, especially if your mom says things like “go ‘head” which my mom does and “would you get away from the tree,” and “why isn’t the tree on?” and “c’mon, for me, turn on the tree!” and “pick up your shit”  and “help me pick up after the tree, it’s a mess” and “it’s cold” and “who wants baily’s?” like my mom also says. Sorry mom!

 

Thanks to Zeke for sending this.

Did you all watch his vid on turtles yet?

xoxo,

wcw

Thanksgiving outfits, comfort vs style

Why not both!

Since Thanksgiving is coming up, and most of us like to look a little put toghether when we have to see our grandparents, I’ve decided to put together some outfits that highlight function and form.

We have to put something together that is comfortable enough to allow us to binge like little piggies, and yet, we have to look great as well.

Here are some cute slashies comfortable and perfectly effortless styles that you will be able to help your mash the potatoes in, eat that extra scoop of stuffing and stil look cute as haaayylll.

I’m also doing this post two weeks ahead so when you get paid Friday, you know how to spend your money wisely.

All these looks were created in Polyvore, the illest site ever!

Leggings and comfort

I pretty much wear the same outfit every thanksgiving, have been for 5 years.  I have this incredible oversized sweater with leaves on it that I got from a thrift store in Pittsburgh for literally $5 and it’s just perfect and comfortable and cute that I wear with leggings and black wedged booties.

When working with such neutral colors, it’s great to throw in a pop of torquise.  I especially love torquise because it’s associated with Native Americans and will compliment any fall colored table scape amazingly.  Yes, I just said that.

When mixing with a bold piece like these necklaces, take it down a notch with your rings and just wear a simple gold or silver watch.  You can’t let it stand completely alone, then it looks like you threw a necklace on when you ran out the door, but a simple ring or gold bangle will go amazingly.

Bronzer, nude lip, brown smudged eyeliner for the makeup. Straightened hair.

Also, you need red nails because them mixed with the blue and oatmeal colors, thin gold rings = perfection.

 

 

Jeggings are your best friend.

If you are not going to be cooking, I love a white, crisp button down or tunic.  If you are going to be cooking, a deep blue jewel tone tunic or button down works perfectly to shield against gravy splashes and looks so pretty against wind blown hair and skin.

Pair that with some comfortable jeggings and a flat, jeweled or leopard print and if you are feeling drab, a fur vest!

If you must wear heels, then a simple suede or leather camel colored bootie would look incredible and effortless and I actually like seeing a little tiny gap between jean, ankle and boot– makes you look rich.

The shirt stands alone, so either do a simple, simple thin gold necklace with the white button down, nothing with the blue and a loud, jeweled bangle and or cocktail ring.

Deep, deep burgundy nails, and pink blush are a must for this look.

 

Back to black

Some of us need to wear black on Thanksgiving, we are either cooking a whole lot or eating a whole lot or perhaps both.

That’s when I like to go with a black tunic, belt and leggings– with gold, gold gold hunny and maybe some red.

I love red belts with chic black clothing.  You want to make your legs look longer in this one, so stick to a bootie.  You can def. have your statement piece be the shoe, because your whole outfit is black.

Gold earrings, gold bangles– red lips and nails!

Dress for success

If you are really feeling up for it, the best dress that is comfortable for a day of running around eating, I think, is a shift.

I love a short shift, with long sleeves.  I think they are pretty, fit most people amazingly and show off the leg.  I choose this one in red, and then a sweater shift to show versitility.

Always pair a shift with black tights to avoid making your legs look really fat.  It’s the only thing on your body that is exposed, so to show two mustard colored tree trunks would just be in poor taste and you will look like Deena from Jersey Shore. Stick with black, hunny.

I like the sweater knit tights with the red, and reg black with the sweater.

Navy blue/gold necklace.  Chain linked bracelet.  Black or navy blue nails.

Black suede pumps or ankle booties.

Also love this look with a pony tail and a thick black line on the top of the lash line swooped up like a cat eye.  Think Adele. Pony and black liner.

Last, but not least, Comfort over form

If you are going to be doing a lot of the cooking, hostesing and running around, there is nothing wrong with a sweater, leggings and over the knee boot.

This looks great, is super comfortable and you won’t slip on any gravy spillage.  This is how you can do it without wearing Uggs.

To jazz it up, go with an oversized tshirt that fits you just right, v neck of course, and a soft cardigan blazer.

Or you can just go with a longer tunic and a nice thick knit sweater.

Jazz it up with awesome over the knee boots in tan, green or black and a really cool cocktail ring with some color, like green or red.

Thin gold necklace.

Nude nails.

Black leather and gold watch.

I think you’ve got it!

I hope this takes a lot of stress out of your clothing choices on Thanksgiving.  You can be comfortable and stylish with a little thinking, and look, I just took the thought of it.

No excuses.

xoxo,

wcw

 

Jersey Shore, before and after

Yesterday instead of doing anything productive, I watched season 1 of the Jersey Shore all day –skipping a couple episodes and squeezing in some of the most disappointing NFL games of my entire life, I made it through the entire season.  Yeah, we’re talking about 5 hours of straight Jersey madness.  I’m disgusted with myself, as well, but in all fairness, the first season is so much funnier than I remember.

Vinny is such a damn nerd, I mean who gets pink eye when they are on vacation?  He acted like it was the black plague.

Shit, I probably have it now, that’s how karma works.

Also,  Ron and Sam are still so effed, The Situation is actually hilarious and likable, Snooki is so sweet and just trying to find love and Pauly D is so nice, even to his insane stalker Danielle.

One thing though, Jwow’s hair the first season is IN.SAN.IT.Y.   Why did she have her hair like that?  Why did Snooki let her have her hair like that?  That’s just rude.

The show was also filled with amazing quotes like:

“I’m a bartender, I do great things,” Angelina

“I’m not trashy, unless I drink too much.” – Snooki

“I didn’t want to cheat on my boyfriend so I came back to the house to eat ham and water” – Jwoww

And they called Angelina the nickname Jolie the entire time that I just picked up on.

Ugh, also, me and Snooki have 2 of the same dresses.  Womp.

Anyway, the show is great– it’s crazy to see how normal and down to earth their personalities were back then.  They were all generally just trying to get everyone in the house to like them and find hot dudes and chicks.  They have so insane attitudes and egos now it’s unbelievable, I guess  little did shnooks know back then that three years later she would be making millions a year.  HA! LIFE!

So here are the before and after pics to show how different these girls and ‘does look now compared to how they showed up on day one.  Oh, also, Snooki almost went home the first episode.  That would have been a disaster.  If she did, there would be a giant void in my life, so thank you for sticking it out, snickers.

Vinny

Such a little Staten Island nerd– his eye brows are so threaded and most of the episodes he makes fun of the other boys for GTL.  He never went tanning back then and said he would rather do Basketball, Beach and something else that was so boring I couldn’t even remember.  He also hooked up with fives that were 10 years older then him during the show– which is weird because now he only gets it in with 9-10′s.  He was also, only 21.

Now the dude thinks he’s the God of motz and cold cuts.

2. Sammi Sweetheart

She was even a giant instigator back then, but I still sort of love her.  I thought she was really pretty from the bat, and she just keeps getting prettier.

The situation is pretty much exactly the same, only a lot older looking.  One litttttllleee nose job and he could be a 9.

Ronnie

Doesn’t really look any different.  Still looks like my friend from high school who’s nickname was beast. ’nuff said.  Why do I always picture him as a blonde?

Glad he got rid of that weird euro trash mohawk though.

Wish he used some of his protein powder promotional money on a steamer though, sheesh.  Yo shit is so wrinkled, bro! ONE SHOT!

Jwoww

Buzz, you’re girlfriend. WOOF!

I mean, I don’t think she is ugly there, but she’s def. not hot.  That hair is scary and her makeup looks like she put it on on the bus.

Shortly after the show premiered, she started to get it together for a while:  dressed classier, that word is so ridiculous, and took out those skunks and was looking really pretty for a couple months.

But then she started with the weird hair again, and lip injections.

And then, she just went over the top with the fillers and lips and she is starting to look like a real housewife at the age of 27.

Yikes!

Paulie D.

Pretty much exactly the same ZZZzzzzzZZZzzz

and of course, the biggest turn around I think.

Snooki.

Season 1

She was just a disaster.  The fake contacts, the poof, the clothes I think she just ripped off of Bratz dolls, the makeup.  All around bad.

Season 2 in Miami, she started coming into it more.  She started making more money off the show, she started to lose the baby fat from her face.  She ditched the contacts and went for sleeker all black looks.

Season 2.5

A return to Jersey led to a return to clothes from Wet Seal. Wah.

Italy.

She started coming back to it again.  She lost a decent amount of weight and started to get a style again.

Anddddd Snooki this weekend.

Who would have thought she would have been my inspiration to not eat carbs the rest of the week.

Don’t worry, she is still with Gionni, and she looks amazing.

I told you she would be hot one day.

Why don’t you guys ever believe me.  Have trust in the sauce, ok?

You must just trust in the sauce.

Happy Monday and one more week of the Thanksgiving diet.

Salads today, who’s with me?

xoxo,

wcw

Turtles on the train.

 

I think my brother might be the Philadelphian Woody Allen.

 

I’ve already watched it 12 times and have cried/laughed the entire way through.  It’s just great.

 

 

“Well it’s 5′clock somewhere and I need some baby turtles.”

Check out Zeke’s art here, and if you want to hang with us on person come to his gallery show on Dec. 2nd at the Yards Brewery in Philly.

We’re made in the shade, dude.

xoxo,

wcw