May 31, 2011 1 Comment
East girl meets West
May 31, 2011 2 Comments
So I got a sweet pair of Carrera sunglasses this year and I love them to death, but I cannot wear them on the beach because I will drop them in the sand and or lose them in the ocean like I did my grandmother’s wedding band.
So, I had to get a pair that I could wear and not be worried about losing, breaking, scratching, smashing on purpose in a fit of 5-hour energy bliss.
So I got something, you know, simple while I picked up a diamond encrusted blackberry case.Of course, this weekend, Snooki is driving in Italy and rams her car into not only another car, but a police car.
And don’t you know, she is wearing these sunglasses:
She wasn’t arrested or anything, but I bet there will be water works on the show and she will swear off drinking again except maybe a little pinot.
May 31, 2011 Leave a comment
Yesterday I was stuck in traffic for 5 and a half hours coming home from the Lacrosse capital of the world, Eastern Shore, Maryland for the weekend.
Even girls lax games were on at every bar we went to– including the outdooor ones.
I was positive there wasn’t anything more underwhelming to watch then men’s lacrosse until I tried to watch a game of girl’s lacrosse.
Love the way you bros dress, your calves, love your hair, but I just can’t really watch the game. Maybe I watched the first 11 goals during the UVA game, but then I had to take a shower.
After that long ass trip and realizing that I wasn’t putting my feet up pool side at the Reel Inn, me and the boy decided to treat ourselves to a little Memorial Day bbq of bliss while we put aloe on our sunburn.
Started off the treat by changing into my Dior terry cloth track shorts:
Then we made some ridiculous key lime pina colada’s with this shiz:
Feet up, serenity now.
For dinner we cooked a chicken on the grill with a beer can, it was so manly that my boy had to change into a sleeveless shirt to do it.
Now I’ve been at work all day and have just been listening to Kings of Comedy to get me through because I fell in love with some this weekend.
Cedric the Entertainer.
“There are some brothers that play hockey, but I don’t know if they will let some real brothers play hockey, like nug nug and pojo.”
Welcome back to reality.
May 26, 2011 2 Comments
With only one full work day separating us from the reality that is summer. More time off, the sun to keep us happy, fruity drinks, and silly attitudes.
Here are some things I love about summer.
men dressing like preppy assholes:
silly jersey shore summer jams:
outrageous patterns for tunics (anything that makes you look rich) and men’s bathing suits and ties:
red bathing suits because they remind me of watching Baywatch when I was little and the only thing I wanted in life more than a soft serve ice cream maker in my basement was that I grew up to have tiny arms and big boobs like Pam Anderson.
Coconut smelling lotions and sprays:
effffffff dudes in lax pinnies
This picture of Ashley Olsen in giambattista valli shoes from 2006 haunts me in my sleeps.
One day I will recreate this picture, one day.
Nude lip and blacked out eyes on tan skin.
May 26, 2011 1 Comment
First celebrity I ever got compared to was Chris Farley.
That was awesome.
I was 16 and getting ready to participate in a haunted house sponsored by the theater group and someone in a cheerleader uniform came up to me and said “Liz, don’t get offended because you TOTALLY do not look like this person at all, like do no at all look like him.” Great. Him. ”Go on.” ”But, mmmeeee and my friend were talking and we totalllllyyyy think you remind of us Chris Farley! Because you are like so funny!!!!!!!!!!”
Not only was Chris at the time, a man and roughly 300 lbs, but he was also dead. Awesome.
If I didn’t have a sense of humor I probably would have cried and transfered to a school on Mars, but then again, if I didn’t have a sense of humor I probably wouldn’t have just been compared to Chris Farley by a 5’2 105 lbs tanned cheerleading acrobat wonder in front of my fellow thespians.
To be honest, I didn’t look like Chris Farly at all, not in the body at least because I swam about 5 miles a day, but I guess I was a little out of control crazy funny and wouldn’t mind risking looking uncute for a joke.
The second person I was compared to was in college, right about the time that Ashlee Simpson had her little show and had that great song LA LA that everyone had as their aim profile.
In all fairness, I did just dye my hair black, had side bangs mostly only wore jeans with rips, black etnies and neon loose tanks with neon bras exposed and only wore tons of jewelry with stars and skulls.
This is when I was living in Ireland and was super blonde, and looked totally different than everyone that lived there. Oh, and unfortunately, Brit Brit was pregnant during this time.
Next, the Kardashian’s came onto the scene and I was called Khloe Kardashian by a couple Dominicans in Williamsburg and ran with that for a while. Luckily it only really looks like Khloe when my hair is parted in the middle. And dressed like a reindeer.
Most recently, I was just called by a friend in a laugh fit because he was shore I was on the left of this Jerseylicious ad for this season he saw on the subway: ( I kept shore there because it was a serious freudian slip on my behalf and I cannot wait to go there this weekend.)
And right before that, I was called Aubrey O’Day when my cab driver wrote about me in his blog.
Considering yesterday I went tanning, did a spray, got a mani/pedi and a cookie wax, I’m pretty happy my efforts have paid off that I have gone from looking like the biggest man in show biz to some of the biggest ladies.
I will take a juicy size 6 any day over Chris.
May 20, 2011 1 Comment
Beyonce samples Major Lazar in this out right genius mix.
Gives me the chills and I guarantee this will propel the mainstreaming of trance and house even further.
One thing I don’t like this video though?
Come on girl, we know your hair ain’t natch so dying your brows just looks sort of alien like.
Blonde with light brows:
Blonde with dark brows:
Just take a tip from the queens of light and dark.
Oh also, Major Lazar Diplo was in a photo shoot I produced last Fall and my brother just painted an opening act for his show in Philly last week.
That’s what you get when you mix an Artist for a mother and a lawyer for a father, I guess.
Let me live with that title, alright. I’ve given you a lot today.
These are some things I want in my room for the ultimate serenity now experience.
I pretty much have everything I want including the following, but I need a few things to make it perfection.
Here is what I have:
Italian widower white lace pillow shams.
tan ruffled duvet
Either a native american patterned throw OR Missoni. (praying when Missoni comes to Target in the Spring they will do a home goods line.)
A sheepskin rug. I know it sounds really, well, Russian, to have white fur in your apartment, but I think it would look beauitful in between my closet and bed.
Either a white leaf chandelier, or a crystal chandeliere to go over my book shelf. I know most people think it works best in the center of the room, but off center looks awesome too.
(I know this is off white, but I still like it)
a navy blue and white striped arm chair.
Feel free to email me if you want to send any of this stuff to my apartment.
Ladies ladies ladies.
I’m going to let you in on a little secret here.
Guess what no one knows unless you blab it.
The size of your jeans. or shirts. or skirts or dresses.
What THAT means is…it’s ok to get a size bigger because guess what! No one knows.
What you are about to witness is a situation where getting the size you want to tell everyone your pants are in totally outweighs your angel on the left side saying “It’s ok, girl, no one has to know they are a 30.”
I think she has got her shit together, I think she is pretty, and is she fat? NOPE!
This is just a prime example of why it’s important to get the 30s.
I like this outfit, but it’s obviously not good on her, because guess what? Bitch has on a size that she wants to share with Kim.
Sorry, you two are different sizes and that is ok.
That doesn’t mean you are fat, that doesn’t mean you are not pretty– just get a size that fits and things like this won’t happen.
Oh, and this goes for getting the Large instead of the Medium etc.
Muffin top is oh so avoidable and really isn’t a good look so just get the 30s. No one has to know.