If you’re a guy, don’t really bother reading this because I am sure crying at work unless a family member passes away isn’t really a concern for you. And when a family member passes it’s completed acceptable for you to cry– not even an issue at all.
I’m talking about crying at work out of frustration, madness, just being sad in general or because they are out of multigrain bagels at your local deli.
Yeah, it’s the worst.
I’ve been at the same company almost five years now so that is a lot of time for a lady to be seen in the public eye. You figure 5 days a week, 5 years- that is about 1,3000 days right there so yeah– you’re bound to have at least one bad day or thirty during that time.
So what happens when you cry at work? There are obviously different degrees.
First there is the tear up, which usually can just be completely brushed off– this one happens to me about once every month or so and why although it’s avoidable, it usually goes unnoticed which is favorable in your work situation, so I don’t really care when it happens . The tear up is often brought on during that time of the month if you read a nice email someone wrote you, mess up at work or maybe you just watched a youtube video of U.S. Troops coming home to surprise their daughters at school. The tear up lasts about a minute or so, and usually only consists of maybe at the most one single tear. You can usually just wipe the tear up before it even falls and you are good to go. If you are going to cry at work for any situation, the tear up is OBVIOUSLY the way to go. Get that tear out, shake your head and move on. Don’t even leave your desk.
Next is the cry, this is when you are really upset– maybe you didn’t get the raise you had been spending the last month like you were going to get, maybe you and your boyfriend are fighting, maybe you just are super frustrated or someone just yelled at you for messing up. The cry is just a couple tears, has no sound and lasts a couple of minutes. Usually, as long as no one sees you mid cry, and you just face your desk and look forward, bite your lip and get a tissue, the cry can have you completely avoiding human contact and inquiry. Just put on a funny youtube video of someone falling, dig your nails into your palm or take a couple deep breaths. If it happens in a meeting start coughing and quietly excuse yourself, or pretend you have something in your eye.
Whatever you do during a cry, do NOT call your mom or call anyone for that matter to talk. A cry is very vulnerable state and even the slightest sound of comfort or consoling can send you to the next phase, which should be avoided at all costs at work, unless you happen to work in a loving, caring environment, but let’s get real, NO ONE DOES! So try not to go talk to anyone until the cry is over– just look forward, get it out and move on because if your friend comes by to say what’s up and sees you with red eyes and asks what’s wrong you’re so screwed because you’re about to be thrown into what I like to call, the meltdown.
The meltdown is when you just let it all out– you’re not concerned, at the moment who the eff can see you, or what you look like, you are feeling really out of control and it just happens. TRY TO AVOID MELTDOWNS AT ALL TIMES. But when you spend the majority of your waking hours in an environment, be honest, sometimes it happens. And that is ok. I can count to myself crying really hard at work about five times. Once when I got laid off, that is a given so I don’t even care about that. Once when a family member died, obviously excused– then a couple work related/felt out of control things, then twice roommate out of control things. It happens. I’ve been there for 5 years– I am human, I am a little emotional at times and it happened, so how do you recover?
The first thing is try to bite through it– try to remain calm and just get it out at your desk real quick, if it feels like it’s going to be one of those few minute long rants, get thee to a bathroom, close the stale and let it rip.
Honestly, if you are in the bathroom, try to muffle noises, OBVIOUSLY, but just let the tears out, let it pour because the more you let out at that time, the less is going to be left in your bod. So have at it, just sit there, with the doors closed and and let it all out. Try not to have people see you– but if they do, you are human, remember? So just let it out.
And even if you do cry at work– for the most part, you can play it off like it’s just some family problems and people don’t even go there with that! Try to be mindful of what you tell people or even who is listening!
The town gossip is always closer than you think, just waiting for you to say something like you hate your job so just avoid saying anything to anyone, even people you trust at least at work.
Honestly, just say that you were feeling overwhelmed about a few things or sad, not really work related, just in general and needed a minute to let it out.
So those are my rules on crying, everyone does it, so just do it and move on, no one cares– really, they don’t.
xoxo,
wcw
