I love Bill Clinton

Last night Bill Clinton held a Charity Gala and invited a couple celebrities including the one and only Gwyneth Paltrow, who you all know I really cannot even stand.  She is so smug an the epitome of obnoxious, once in an interview she said she can relate to black women’s hair because she too has to battle the frizz.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You’re a white privileged girl that grew up on the upper east side who’s hair is always perfectly straight AND BLONDE! Sickening!  She also said once she would rather serve her child crack than cheese whiz and as a Phialdelphia native I am SO offended by that.  Hate. Is cheez whiz really that offensive? So offensive you were quoted saying you would rather serve your child CRACK? So obnoxious!

I can’t to see the page six where she is chompin’ on a grays papaya dog.

So anyway, last night she was invited and felt all special that she got some realllll awesome VIP invite like she is Jesus or something until we realized, oh wait, so did a bunch of porn stars that Bill is seen hugging in the picture below at the same Gala!

Suck it, Paltrow!

xoxo,

wcw

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Donna Summer and Vidal Sassoon

We’ve already made it this far, only one or two (for some) more days for us until we have off on Monday, which is one of the greatest gifts American could ever offer.

So to help us get through the next two days, I’m providing you with two links of interviews I have listened to this week from my girl Terry Gross of Fresh Air that will blow your socks off.

First off, Terry Gross is amazing.  She asks the questions everyone else, but Oprah and Katie Couric are afraid to ask and she is so intelligent, well read and just plain knowledgable about everyone and everything she interviews.

She will be like “So when you were strung out and selling your body on the street for smack, did you write any good music?”

It’s like..ehhh WHAT.

I listened to her interview the Beastie Boys from a couple years ago last week, and was blown away by her knowledge of rap –it was insanity.  She grew up in Brooklyn and the show runs out of Phialdelphia (so we are soul twins only reversed and by Philadelphia I mean suburbs where I literally can see cows and horses within a half mile radius) and I dare you to listen to these interviews and not be caught up.

So the first one I listened to that blew my socks off was with Donna Summer.  When you think of disco diva, you don’t necessarily first think well spoken or incredibly intelligent, but she was astoundingly both.  Her wit is quick and her responses are extremely well thought out.  You can hear her think, take a pause and then her execution is just flawless, I trust everything she says as fact.  In the interview she talks about how they had to teach her to be a sexy diva goddess because she was so shy and wasn’t for it at all.

On her transformation into a sex symbol: “I didn’t like the image per say I mean I didn’t particularly care for the sex image, I thought it was pretty narrow.”

Would you ever have thought words like that would escape from Ms. Donna?? Not me!

Also, she said she got the vocal for the song “Iiiiiiii love to love you babbbayyy” by laying down on the ground of the studio and singing into the mic while she was on the floor like she was with a man. Step back Sasha Fierce!

Please if you have time, are sick of top 40 or want to listen to this on Amtrak up to the Cape, download this interview with Donna Summer from 2003 and remember the cool cat she was.

I remembered her this weekend with my friend Daniel by singing “On the Radio” at a karaoke bar in the East Village and then again by eating mac and cheese around 10 PM.  I don’t really think the mac and cheese had anything to do with it, but I felt the need to tell you I did that.

Also, this story and interview with Vidal Sassoon was incredible.

The interview is from last year and so incredible.  His voice ALONE in the interview is so beautiful, soothing. I want him to be the voice for the L train saying the next stops.

“I never looked at beauty as beauty– I always looked at bone structure.”

“I was never after pretty, I was after bones.”

The word bones when used in the context of beauty is SO PATSY STONE I CAN’T!

Bolly, dahhhllinngggg.

He also talks about ladies who lunch which is one of my favorite phrases ever and also so Pats and Ed, so do yourself a favor and listen to this podcast.  It’s only 8 minutes long so just do it.  To hear his voice at least because his poor, cockney British accent was so bad when he was in his teens that he couldn’t get a job without having to go to a vocal training coach! Imagine!

If I had to say water instead of wooder to get a job I would be so screwed.

The weekend is so close– what are you doing this weekend? what are you wearing this weekend?? Tell me! I need ideas.

 

xoxo,

wcw

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omgee get me to the weekend

Anything Pitbull does is gold. Sorry.  Even if it’s for something as stupid as MEN AND BLACK 3????? I can’t even with that.

Except the Dub Step. I HATE DUB STEP!

This week has been puff the magic dragon aka: it’s been dragin’.  You must be thinking to yourself at this moment, wow, Liz has one too many pinot grigio white wine spritzers at lunch, but guess what? I didn’t have any! And for that I am sad.

Anyway– guess what is on the horizon?

LONG weekend.

HELL TO THE YEAH!

Aren’t you so excited to be able to drink your face off all Sunday and not have to deal with the adult consequences until Tuesday unlike our usually Mondays where we have bloated Rosie O’Donnell Face and the what’s my name agains?

I know for sure I am going to be making these at least thrice from my girl at skinnytaste!

Ingredients:

  • 1 oz clear tequila
  • 1/2 oz Contreau (or Grand Marnier)
  • 1/4 cup fresh squeezed orange juice
  • 1/2 lime (2 tbsp) fresh lime juice
  • 1/4 cup seltzer/club soda
  • crushed ice

Directions:

Combine the tequila, orange liquor, fresh squeezed orange juice, and fresh squeezed lime juice. Pour into a glass with crushed ice and top with seltzer.

Can you tell I am on a spritzer kick? Don’t judge me when I meet you at the bar and order one, they are awesome.

Also, I say my girl like we are friends, but alas, we are not.  I simply reach out and use her recipes like healthy buffalo chicken dip and bangin’ crock pot stuff that are so easy even my friend J-9 can do it and she’s a pretty blonde and skinny so it’s awesome.

Cheesy, jalapeno popper chicken anyone? UH. Yes.

Also, this weekend might be the first time you girlies and dudies will be rocking out in your swim suits!

You will do fine, and if you are worried or scared, just eat fruit and yogurt for dinner the night before and don’t drink any water so you are dehydrated and look super skinny. Actually– that is a TERRIBLE idea.  DRINK WATER. This isn’t an episode of True Life! I’m a Wrestler Trying to Make Weight, but maybe add some lemon to it, it’s a diuretic!

This is my life line.

Also, just do some air brush self tanner before you go to do one final kick of confidence.

Duh, we love this:

Pretty much cannot eff this stuff up.  EXCEPT one thing. Do it standing on a towel or in the shower or something because when you get it on the floor and then walk around on top of it your feet turn the color of oranges and it is BAD. bad. bad. The bottoms of my feet are constantly so dirty anyway. I had friends in high school and college that used to call me Mowgli, no, not as in Ashlee Simpson’s baby’s middle name (she’s the worst,) but as in Mowgli from the jungle book who ran around dirty and barefoot. Because my feet were that sicko– still are.

So for God sakes get a pedicure before you flash them toes.

How fantastic are the Essie Spring Colors?

That second one from the left makes me want to cry it’s so RICH looking.

I mean, rock that– a gold watch, sunglasses down low on your nose, some type of willowy top and some gladiator sandals. SO RICH!

What are your plans this weekend?? TELL ME!

Let’s try not to eat carbs or cheese until we have to be in a bathing suit and let’s meet back tomorrow and discuss everything else. Let’s really do it, ok? HELP ME!

xoxo,

wcw

 

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Friday Round Up, Holy he he

I love starting off a post where Kim looks average:

So this week has been a doozy, am I right or wrong?

It BLEW!

The first half was all weird with weather, I think I counted about 25 million top knots.  The cold spring humidity is the worst, especially in New York.  How quickly we forget we live on an island and it’s MUGGY here people.  (side bar: one of my favorite lines ever is when Diddy says “buy you an island and call it cris-tal-land.”)

I know my girls down in philly were feelin’ the humidity and rain too.  My mom was so excited because she got to break out her new umbrella I got her for mother’s day.

Yeah, it says “shit it’s raining” in French because we are oh so very classy. Get one here.

Also, the week felt like it went on forevs.  I think we actually had two months in one here– like we were Ground Hog’s Day for 2 months every day the same same but a little dif or something and then the Men in Black people came in and erased our heads with that flashlight thing and we were like ehhh what the donkey hole just happened I am soooo exhausteddddd y’all?

So it’s almost over and I am so grateful for that.

What the hell also happened this week?

Oh yeah, Mark Zuckerberg and a bunchhhhh of nerds got real, real rich.  Now they all are 28-year-old billionaires and retired.  Maybe Justin Timberlake should have invested in some Facebook shares instead of metal bar stools, eco friendly golf courses and MYSPACE. What an idiot.  Like I said before, why didn’t he learn anything from playing Sean Parker? and like my grandmother on my mom’s side named Babs Hackett always said “*EEJITS!” (*idiots in Irish wasp.)

In lieu of this insanity, I decided to come up with a list of things I would do if I was sitting on 36 billion dollars.

1. wipe my ass with Hermes scarves

2. replicate this– that’s me in the middle floatin’ except all my friends know I don’t use rafts, I just float for hours in the middle of the pool like at Rehab in Vegas while everyone else is partying listening to “Call me Maybe,” and I’m JUST FLOATING!

3. Buy an island and call it “Cris-tal-land,” call Diddy from it say “HA!” and hang up.

4. Eat lobster rolls for every meal

5. Film an episode of cribs and have Mariah Carey taking a nap in one of the rooms

6. Make Snooki name her baby WestCoastWest

7. Carry around iPhones and throw them at people who annoyed me a la Naomi Campbell

8. Pay someone to invent a fat free cheese steak with extra wiz, WIT

9. Buy a yacht and race mine against Bill Gates’s with a cigar hanging out of my mouth dressed up as Kim Zosciak on her wedding.

 

10. Probably get some gel nails, those shits are like $30!

Also, I love that Zucks is with Priscilla still, I wonder if they will stay together.

UNRELATED!

If you haven’t gone to Nordstrom Rack in Union Square, do yourself a favor and hit it up.

It’s awesome.

I got so many things for so cheap, they have great sweaters/cardigans from this brand 14th and Union for $21 that I literally think they just make for that store and tons of other stuff and it’s never crowded so treat yourself and go.

Which brings me to today.

Last night was a little bit chaotic and somehow shots were involved, and let’s just say one shot of soco and lime sent me to a bar downtown where someone blatantly called me out for doing the robot and told me to “slow it downnnn, girl” and then you can just picture this: me sitting alone in Katz’s deli with a grilled cheese and getting a cab ride home with an Indian cabbie who was watching porn on his iPhone at all the red lights.

So TONIGHT! we all have the chance to unwind, eff the week so blast some Call Me Maybe, down some vodka soda splash of OJ (thanks for that one ru!) eat some snacks and chill the eff out! We did it! WE MADE IT!

Hope everyone has a great weekend and enjoy some eye candy!

xoxo,

wcw

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Justin Timberlake, a series of unfortunate business plans

Who is Justin Timberlake’s agent or who does his representation?

I’m curious because he keeps popping up in the news for making crazy investments and I just wonder who’s behind it??

About a year or so ago, Mr. Timberlake invested 35 million into the purchase of myspace.

Just because you played an internet mogul in a movie doesn’t mean you have the know how to buy a failing company and bring it back to a money profiting social network.  And didn’t you learn anything from playing Sean Parker?  Not everything on the internet wins.  He completed revolutionized how people buy music, and he still lost.  He could have been iTunes.  It could have been NapsterTunes.  And we would have had an NapsterPod.  But we didn’t, because he didn’t think about it fully before execution.

Myspace is never coming back, sorry JT, and you just lost about 35 million dollars to Tom who is now 42 and retired.

And now, today, I find out Mr. Justin has started a furniture line.

WHAT?

Why did you start a furniture line? What about furniture lines is bringing sexy back?

Nothing!

What do you know about furniture? Nothing!

I just can’t with this latest investment and I really wish JT would cut the bull, stop investing in so much and even stop acting because he SUCKS and just go back to being the white boy with soul and sing me sweet love songs and bumpin’ tunes with Timberland.

Because I will never stop listening to “Love Stoned,” but I haven’t been on myspace since 2007 and I really don’t want to even see any of your furniture.  It’s probs all black lacquer and dark cherry wood anyway.

 

xoxo,

wcw

 

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Save $40 a month, bring your own coffee!

As a New Yorker, convenience outweighs costs daily.

Dropping off your laundry is about $2 more a week then doing it yourself, but it’s one of the best parts about living in NYC.  And as my friend Lize says, “I can never make my lunch taste as good as someone else can,” so when it comes to packing lunch vs: buying, buying wins!  It’s easier, it tastes better, so why not indulge!

I’ve been recalculating my expenses lately and I have realized that grabbing that cup of coffee on the way to work most days is costing me about $10 a week.  Which in the scheme of the week is nothing, considering a salad here costs about $11.50, but everything in life is cause and effect and everything in New York is COST and effect and I have realized that I love cabs and want to use them more often, so how am I going to work that into the budget? I’m going to pack myself some coffee in the AM!

There are a few things I hate about coffee, however, so let me break that down and tell you how I have dealt with it.

First, caring a hot cup of coffee on the subway makes me hot– even if it’s 25 degrees and snowing, I’m bundled up and drinking that first sip, worrying about it falling out of my hands or landing on someone’s lap is just too much for my extremely neurotic  being to handle.  It makes me sweat, I’m worrying– it’s just really not enjoyable for me.

Secondly, I am so lazy in the morning I can barely shower.

So I had to devise a way to make an iced coffee, that isn’t going to spill in the morning fast and make it so I can carry and not really worry about it.

I know– I sound like such a basic bitch.  The problem at hand is not that hard, but still it took some engineering and I like being honest on here.

So last night, I went to the dollar store in my neighborhood and purchased one of those hard plastic double walled cups, like a fake tervis tumblr.

Then, before I went to bed, I brewed one extra strong cup of coffee and poured it in the tumblr without milk or anything.

Then, right before work, very carefully– I am wearing white today– I put in a tray of ice and some coffee creamer and boom!

A relatively free cup of coffee!

So the moral of the story is–I am going to try to do this most mornings and then take cabs everywhere.

Cost and effect.

So figure out something you love to do– yoga, going to the movies twice a week, buying the $17 bottle of wine and then figure out a way to make it happen.  Maybe do you own nails twice a month instead of weekly, that will save you $20, or pack lunch twice a week, that could save you #20 too!

Live your life the way you want too, you only got one!

xoxo,

wcw

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Crying at Work

If you’re a guy, don’t really bother reading this because I am sure crying at work unless a family member passes away isn’t really a concern for you.  And when a family member passes it’s completed acceptable for you to cry– not even an issue at all.

I’m talking about crying at work out of frustration, madness, just being sad in general or because they are out of multigrain bagels at your local deli.

Yeah, it’s the worst.

I’ve been at the same company almost five years now so that is a lot of time for a lady to be seen in the public eye.  You figure 5 days a week, 5 years- that is about 1,3000 days right there so yeah– you’re bound to have at least one bad day or thirty during that time.

So what happens when you cry at work?  There are obviously different degrees.

First there is the tear up, which usually can just be completely brushed off– this one happens to me about once every month or so and why although it’s avoidable, it usually goes unnoticed which is favorable in your work situation, so I don’t really care when it happens .  The tear up is often brought on during that time of the month if you read a nice email someone wrote you, mess up at work or maybe you just watched a youtube video of U.S. Troops coming home to surprise their daughters at school.  The tear up lasts about a minute or so, and usually only consists of maybe at the most one single tear.  You can usually just wipe the tear up before it even falls and you are good to go.  If you are going to cry at work for any situation, the tear up is OBVIOUSLY the way to go.  Get that tear out, shake your head and move on.  Don’t even leave your desk.

Next is the cry, this is when you are really upset– maybe you didn’t get the raise you had been spending the last month like you were going to get, maybe you and your boyfriend are fighting, maybe you just are super frustrated or someone just yelled at you for messing up.  The cry is just a couple tears, has no sound and lasts a couple of minutes.  Usually, as long as no one sees you mid cry, and you just face your desk and look forward, bite your lip and get a tissue, the cry can have you completely avoiding human contact and inquiry.  Just put on a funny youtube video of someone falling, dig your nails into your palm or take a couple deep breaths.  If it happens in a meeting start coughing and quietly excuse yourself, or pretend you have something in your eye.

Whatever you do during a cry, do NOT call your mom or call anyone for that matter to talk.  A cry is very vulnerable state and even the slightest sound of comfort or consoling can send you to the next phase, which should be avoided at all costs at work, unless you happen to work in a loving, caring environment, but let’s get real, NO ONE DOES!  So try not to go talk to anyone until the cry is over– just look forward, get it out and move on because if your friend comes by to say what’s up and sees you with red eyes and asks what’s wrong you’re so screwed because you’re about to be thrown into what I like to call, the meltdown.

The meltdown is when you just let it all out– you’re not concerned, at the moment who the eff can see you, or what you look like, you are feeling really out of control and it just happens.  TRY TO AVOID MELTDOWNS AT ALL TIMES.  But when you spend the majority of your waking hours in an environment, be honest, sometimes it happens.  And that is ok.  I can count to myself crying really hard at work about five times.  Once when I got laid off, that is a given so I don’t even care about that.  Once when a family member died, obviously excused– then a couple work related/felt out of control things, then twice roommate out of control things.  It happens.  I’ve been there for 5 years– I am human, I am a little emotional at times and it happened, so how do you recover?

The first thing is try to bite through it– try to remain calm and just get it out at your desk real quick, if it feels like it’s going to be one of those few minute long rants, get thee to a bathroom, close the stale and let it rip.

Honestly, if you are in the bathroom, try to muffle noises, OBVIOUSLY, but just let the tears out, let it pour because the more you let out at that time, the less is going to be left in your bod.  So have at it, just sit there, with the doors closed and and let it all out.  Try not to have people see you– but if they do, you are human, remember? So just let it out.

And even if you do cry at work– for the most part, you can play it off like it’s just some family problems and people don’t even go there with that!  Try to be mindful of what you tell people or even who is listening!

The town gossip is always closer than you think, just waiting for you to say something like you hate your job so just avoid saying anything to anyone, even people you trust at least at work.

Honestly, just say that you were feeling overwhelmed about a few things or sad, not really work related, just in general and needed a minute to let it out.

So those are my rules on crying, everyone does it, so just do it and move on, no one cares– really, they don’t.

xoxo,

wcw

 

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